How to love yourself first

How to love yourself first

Love yourself first. That’s everyone mission in this lifetime. To do so you must unlearn what you have been taught.

And what does that means? How the hack do I do that? 

Does these questions pop up in your mind when you hear or read that statement?

Because for so long I though I was loving myself but somehow I found it hard to go on in life, I was mad, disappointed and upset with myself and of course the rest of the world, for not feeling loved or accepted or wanted the way I was taught. I blamed myself for not being pleasing enough, for not being smart enough, for being too naive, too blind, too accommodating, too trustworthy, too sensitive, too much or not much at all.

See, this simple phrase, has to be developed, unfold and explain. How am I going to love myself if all I know has to be reprogrammed? 

The programming we have received directly or indirectly through education, movies, family, society is to actually find love in others but not in yourself. It’s difficult to love yourself first when you have been brought up to be a giver. You must learn to unlearn everything. In latin you would say “tabula rasa” which means ground zero. Basically stripping down the mind of all ideas/programming that have created the reality you are currently living until now. 

Opening the mind of new possibilities, new ways, new neural connections, is opening the direct network to yourself.

When you are brainwashed, you only see what your mind is meant to see. You are not ready to see either way. There is a interesting story about it. It is said when by the coasts of United States colonizer where about to arrive, they weren’t seen on the horizon by the indigenous people. They didn’t know what a ship was. They were living a simply community life. They were fishers, farmers or hunters but didn’t know other ways. Their mind were not prepared so could’t see them arriving. Then one day the Sharman of the village saw the ships, gave them a description and told about the vision he had looking at the horizon. Since usually the Sharman was the oldest and wiser man, he was recognized and believed. So once the others were given a story, their minds were prepared to actually see and recognize the ships arriving. They finally saw what was happening.

The mind is very tricky. Only when you are prepared and opened to receive you will be able to get glimpse of what other realities you may not yet are ready to see.

From where do you start then?

Start from basic. Accept and embrace the darkest pieces of you. To love the best version of you it’s easy. But try to open the hidden skeleton closet and love those parts of you too. That’s healing. And when you are in the midst of it, you will find the answers of your questions. You will come to understand those scary parts of you actually got you out from some trouble when you couldn’t make it yourself. Those fragments of you saved your ass. You see, when you are traumatized for whatever reason, could be a small little thing or a bigger one, it doesn’t matter, all it matter is that when that happens, you divide yourself in little fragments so you don’t deal with it. Basically you leave yourself out of it in a kinda of way. You act in autopilot in those moments. And in those moments your mind activate your ego. The ego is the survival at whatever cost. If it wasn’t for the ego, we wouldn’t be here right now. So thank all characters of your ego, they did the work when you couldn’t bear. They pick up the pieces of you when you were a mess. By recognizing it, by being present at 100%, whole with yourself, you immediately spread light in all the darkest hidden and scared places of your internal universe. You connect the dots, and all become one again. You feel complete and in pure divine presence, your divine presence. It’s a new level of consciousness achieved. You will feel so much love for yourself, you will immediately heal past, presence and future timelines with all the traumas and undone karma. It’s a game changer. Your vibration will light up, like a fire. You’ll feel invigorated. You’ll feel whole.

Keep up the inner work, don’t let anyone distract you form it. You will see, many will not understand this new energy field you are vibrating. And it’s ok, if they don’t get you, they are not meant to be around you anymore. It’s harsh I know, but not everyone has to walk along with you the path of this life. Don’t judge, don’t give explanation. I stopped long ago giving explanation. Either you get me or you don’t. And it’s ok not to get me. Not everyone is for me, and neither for you. Accept it and go on. You’ll  be more aware of what’s going on around you and by fully accepting and being you, the universe is going to provide you what you need. So all that is not needed, will immediately disappear, into the wind. You will see it coming your way, but then passing by you. 

Trust yourself. Give space to yourself to nurture your self esteem, to find peace and silence within, to listen to your needs. And then speak up. Align with yourself and if you are misalign, bring back your attention to your heart beating. Meditation is a good tool, but also dancing, eating something you love, resting, singing, painting, writing. Whatever it is that gives you happiness and joy. 

I don’t even remember at what point of life I decided to start this journey or rediscovery. I think I was always looking for me outside of me, in other places, in other faces, in other things. But I was never satisfied. I felt emptied, I felt a void no one could fill. And I wondered why. So I started looking for answered within me. My guts and instinct always advised me, I always knew it when things weren’t working out. My inner voice was right all the time. So I start listening. And it took me here. 

With love 

Caro
carolina.podavini@gmail.com
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